Even though I’d heard that communication is a skill we learn and practice, no one told me how important that would be in raising my child. Between Lee’s inability to focus, a lot of hyperactivity, and emotions that were hard to regulate, it became my challenge to find a different way to communicate. In this month’s blog, I put together the tips that worked for me over the years. Hope you’ll find one that works for you!
A Lack of Impulse Control on a Saturday Morning
A Lack of Impulse Control on a Saturday Morning
…It’s exhausting, right? Poor impulse control was, for me, the hardest part of parenting an ADHD child. Instead of disciplining Lee for urges her brain couldn’t avoid, I learned over time to talk to her about the feelings that led to the impulse. We discussed ways she could gain better control by looking at the consequences before an overwhelming desire took her down. …
On a Saturday morning, I tiptoed into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Maybe I’d have a few moments to myself before Lee, my high voltage nine-year-old daughter, woke up. Just when I took my first sip, her door banged open like a gunshot. Little feet raced down the hall. I sunk into my chair at the table moments before she hurled herself into my arms.
“Mommy!”
My cheek pressed into her soft flannel kitty pajamas, and she snuggled her head against my chest. Just as my pulse started to slow down, she bounced up and ran to the refrigerator.
“I want scrambled eggs!”
I grabbed my coffee and followed, catching an egg carton as it sailed toward me through mid-air. “Jeez, Lee, slow down.” Throwing open a cupboard door, she got out the mixing bowl and snatched the egg carton out of my hands.
“Careful honey…”
Lee cracked eggs, then flung them into the bowl. As she moved back toward the pantry, I fished eggshells out of the bowl and dropped them into the sink. Lee came back with a tin of cinnamon and dumped half of it into the bowl.
“French toast!”
I steadied my hands on the kitchen sink, then took a long gulp of coffee. Yelling would have felt really good right now, but I heard the occupational therapist’s voice, “Breathe before you react, breathe…” Hyperventilate felt more like what I was doing, but I tried to stay calm as I scooped cinnamon back out of the bowl. “OK, Lee, we’ll have French toast.”
A little while later, we took our first bites. Lee glanced out the window and jumped out of her chair. “Mommy, a hawk just flew by!” She threw open the sliding glass door and ran outside.
It’s exhausting, right? Poor impulse control was, for me, the hardest part of parenting an ADHD child. Instead of disciplining Lee for urges her brain couldn’t avoid, I learned over time to talk to her about the feelings that led to the impulse. We discussed ways she could gain better control by looking at the consequences before an overwhelming desire took her down.
In the meantime, I tried to reach deep inside myself and find a way to be patient, even when life was spinning out of control. Although, I do admit to getting through the mornings on many cups of good old joe.
Here’s a great article from ADDitude magazine to help you find some control:
https://www.additudemag.com/impulse-control-strategies-adhd-students/
Blogs
Related
Communicating With Your ADHD Child
read more
Situational Awareness
One of the workshops I loved at last year’s CHADD conference was led by Ryan Wexelblatt, the “ADHD Dude.” A popular speaker, he chose to highlight “Situational Awareness,” and it was an eye-opener. Join me in this month’s blog as I figure out how to keep Lee safe in parking lots, only to find it turned around on me many years later. And a big thanks to Ryan for his words of wisdom that motivated this blog!
Inspiration through Connection at the 2022 CHADD Conference
Last November, I attended the CHADD conference, the annual international conference on ADHD. As promised, here’s a blog with my take-aways from some of 2022’s valuable workshops, along with a heartfelt reminder of why the conference is so important to me.
Recent Comments